Dr. MinetteRiodan

Dr. Caron Goode

From Fizzle to Sizzle: 4 Crucial Tools For Relationship Repair

by Dr. Caron Goode and Dr. Minette Riordan (Scissortail Publishing, Goleta, California, 2013, 128 page).

Book Review by Dennis Moore

In everyone’s life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit.      
Albert Schweitzer

Dr. Caron Goode, award-winning nonfiction author and publisher and the founder of the HeartWise strategies for connection and communication in all relationships, and Dr. Minette Riordan, award-winning business owner, author and certified coach, has co-authored the quintessential book on relationships; From Fizzle to Sizzle: 4 Crucial Tools For Relationship Repair. Perhaps most revealing in this book is the need for the authors set limits of liability and disclaimer of warranty, which states: “The purpose of this book is to educate and entertain. The authors and/or publisher and/or editor shall have neither liability nor responsibility for any loss or damage caused, or alleged to be caused, directly or indirectly by information contained in this book. If you have major life issues like insatiable neediness, a sexual disorder or addiction, or attention issues that make you incapable of taking the simple steps outlined in these pages, this book won’t work for you. Instead, seek help from a health professional, mental health consultant or therapist.” The book does educate and entertain, but limits of liability and disclaimer of warranty might apply to the majority of the population, including me.  

The authors indicate in their book that we are doing things day in and day out that drain energy out of our relationships, cost us peace of mind, cost us stress, and leave us feeling lonelier than we might like. They further indicate in From Fizzle to Sizzle that the juice is gone and motivation may have fizzled out of all our relationships. They offer 4 crucial tools for relationship repair. Those four tools are:

  1. Four Core Temperaments – the genetic predisposition or tendency to learn and interact in certain ways. Understanding these four temperaments helps you to decipher behaviors.
  2. Core Values – These are the beliefs you hold dear to your heart that guide your decisions. People rarely know their values consciously. If you make a decision that goes against what you solidly believe, you get anxious, scared, irritated with yourself, worry – all of these signal you with a strong message: you are out of alignment with yourself. Your head is thinking about it, your heart doesn’t feel truly committed to the decision, and your gut may be acting up. Fizzle to Sizzle will get you back on track.
  3. Head-Heart-Gut – also called HUG – is an alignment process where you discern the feelings of or listen to the inner voices of your head, heart and gut. HUG is the signature work of Dr. Caron Goode and shows you how to access, trust, and use your inner wisdom to make your relationships the best, and be true to yourself in the process.
  4. Repairing Emotional Hijacking – Your emotional tendencies are adaptable – that is, your cultural and familial interactions either strengthened your natural emotional resilience or stunted it. Either you learned to be independent or to ask for help. You learned to be a doormat or to stand up for yourself. You learned to worry or to trust. Whatever knee-jerk emotional reactions come up in your relationships, rest assured that each one is an emotional memory that happened at an earlier age. You must learn to recognize and change these in the relationship repair system.

Perhaps most profound in this educational and entertaining book, is the authors stating: “You cannot give yourself away in relationships. You must bring your best to the relationship.”

In this primer to the ability to build and maintain positive, healthy and productive relationships, the authors provides proven skills and relevant examples to help you have those ‘ah-ha!’ moments. This book fulfills an urgent social need in teaching readers how to develop relationship skills, and during the course of doing that, it entertains with quizzes to test your progress. The authors show how to identify your needs and values and to be crystal clear about what you want in your relationships – and if that was not sufficient, the authors directs you to their website; www.heartwiselife.com.  This is a book that definitely gets you to thinking in a positive way about relationships.

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Dennis Moore is a writer and book reviewer with the East County Magazine in San Diego and the book review editor for SDWriteway, an online newsletter in San Diego that has partnered with the East County Magazine. He is also the author of a book about Chicago politics; “The City That Works: Power, Politics and Corruption in Chicago.” Mr. Moore can be contacted at contractsagency@gmail.com or you can follow him on Twitter at @DennisMoore8.